Admittance
by reikat
Summary: Eriah wrestles with her feelings for Farkas and Ulfric when she is reunited with the werewolf Companion. A chat between the two ends with feelings being revealed and a marriage proposal. F!DBxFarkas


Night had fallen on Whiterun and Eriah Quintence sat up on the Skyforge's natural rock wall. The glow of the forge's fire threw the shadows long. She was out of armor, her knees to her chest, and her arms hugging them as she rested her chin on them. She had returned from Windhelm after a week of recovering from a Silver Hand ambush that left her in bad shape. Farkas had taken her close to Windhelm when they were spotted by Ulfric Stormcloak. When she awoke recovering from the poison, which had been derived from wolfsbane, he had filled her in what exactly had happened. To her own relief, he didn't ask or even mention the brand on her neck, put there by Miraak, an old enemy. Eriah asked after Farkas without mentioning him by name and it seemed the trail the soldiers had followed went cold at the clearing where the Companions had been ambushed. She spent the week recovering and returned to Whiterun, hoping Farkas had made it back in one piece. To her own sadness, Vilkas had told her his twin brother hadn't returned yet and asked what had happened. She explained as best she could and they both agreed that perhaps Farkas had run into some trouble if he hadn't returned in that time. Eriah had wanted to go back out looking for him but Vilkas shot the idea down, saying she had no idea where to start looking. He believed his brother would return.

So the Dragonborn was left to stew in her own turmoil. Her memory was hazy but one that stuck out was the memory of Farkas's wolf tongue dragging itself across the brand on the side of her neck. She had every reason to believe he was now fully aware of it. She recalled the sensation of his lick and it caused her insides to twist in an odd way. This was the first time she had been forced to acknowledge such things. She had noticed it here and there the longer she and Farkas worked together but always brushed it off. The only other man who ever caused her to feel this way was Ulfric but since he never saw her as anything more than the Dragonborn and a soldier, it was something she dealt with. Now with Farkas eliciting those same reactions, Eriah was reluctant to admit that perhaps she was growing attracted to him. A part of her argued it was just a passing fancy, a way for her to get over her attraction to her former commander. Another part argued that Farkas didn't see her as anything than a shield-sister and close friend. Still a third part protested loudly that she had indeed grown to love Farkas and wanted to know if he felt the same. That same side also pointed out that she had sensed a curious envy in the man when she confided a few things to him. The Dragonborn gave a frustrated groan as she buried her face in her arms. She was acting like a child who discovered her first crush and was too frustrated to sort it out.

She heard someone approach from behind but she wrote it off as Eorland Gray-Mane having left something behind. What she didn't expect was the one who said her name. "Eriah." came the voice of none other than Farkas. Eriah's head whipped around to face him, her eyes wide. There he stood, none the worse for wear and with a small smile on his face. He sauntered up as she scrambled to her feet. She suddenly slipped backwards and would've tumbled a long way down to the bottom of the hill if not for Farkas grabbing her wrist and pulling her against him. "Easy there, sister. I didn't risk my life getting you to Windhelm just for you to fall off the Skyforge." he said, rather cockily. The Dragonborn pushed against his chest to look up at him before her face twisted in anger. "You jerk! You left me, your shield-sister, behind! I spent the entire week in Windhelm thinking the worst! I get home and you hadn't returned. Where in Oblivion were you!?" she demanded, halfheartedly punching him in the chest. Farkas just bore her anger like the Companion he was, holding her by the shoulders as she worked out her frustration. "Sorry. Didn't have much of a choice. You were poisoned by that arrow and I did what I had to to get you help." he said.

Eriah's brown eyes went up to meet his silver, her displeasure still thundering across her face. She tried to pull away but his large hands closed on her upper arms to keep her where she was. "That's the other thing! You let the Stormcloaks see you as a werewolf! They could've finished the job the Silver Hand started! What were you thinking!? You didn't give a thought to your brother, the rest of the Companions, or Kodlak! Then there's me. You didn't give a thought about what it would do to me if you died, Farkas." she trailed off, her head bowed and her fingers curled in his shirt. The fact she was furious with him just proved to herself that her feelings for him went far beyond mere attraction. She knew in that moment that she loved Farkas with every bit of her soul. The idea of him lying dead somewhere in the wilds, either by the Stormcloaks or the Silver Hand, had tortured her far beyond what Miraak ever did. Vilkas would've blamed her for it. He was a passionate man who cared for his twin brother and if he had gotten killed while Eriah was laid up getting over a bad poisoning, he would've run her into the ground when she returned. He would've been right to do so.

She went stiff when she felt Farkas's lips at her neck, which was swiftly followed by her knees going weak as he kissed her there several times. She pushed her forehead into his shoulder. "What are you doing?" she asked quietly. "Apologizing. I didn't know what else to do. After I slaughtered the Silver Hand, I saw that you were in bad shape. I couldn't wait around for the beast blood to die down so I just ignored every instinct and carried you from the ambush site to Windhelm, meeting the Jarl on the road. I know it was stupid of me to be seen in werewolf form but what choice did I have? You needed help I couldn't give. Leaving you behind was the hardest choice I've ever had to make and it has nothing to do with the rule that we never leave a shield-sibling behind." he explained, his arms winding around her waist and his hands resting on her back. "What are you saying?" Eriah asked, her heart starting to thump harder. "First, you're going to tell me why you're angry with yourself. I can sense that you are. You're just as angry at having been hurt as you are about me leaving you." he dodged. The Dragonborn thought he was being rather cheeky but she was incredibly distracted by their closeness and Farkas's scent.

"Anyone would be. Especially women like me who grew up with a sword in her hand. I hate the idea of being weak and needing help. Add in the fact that I'm Dragonborn. I'm supposed to protect Skyrim and those in it from the various threats that seek to bring harm here. I need to be strong for the people here. If that arrow hadn't dipped in wolfsbane, I could've shaken off having my shoulder hit." she explained. Farkas blinked for a moment before sighing and flicking her on the forehead, an action the two did whenever they thought the other was being rather stupid. "What a moronic way of thinking. You may be Dragonborn, Eriah, but you're still only human. You can't be strong all the time. Otherwise, you'd run yourself into a early grave. I honestly won't let you do that to yourself." he said. Eriah gave him a slight scowl. "You're not making any sense." she said, trying to push him back a bit. "You know I am. You just won't let yourself admit that you'd like to have someone help you shoulder the burden. You told me once that you thought you were supposed to be impartial when it came to the war. You changed that opinion pretty quickly but you're so stubborn, you don't want to admit that even you can fail." Farkas said. It was swiftly followed by him kissing her fully on the lips, which caused Eriah's stomach to drop to her feet. She could read him like a book. While he wasn't as slow as other had teased him to be, he wasn't the most articulate of men. What he struggled to put into words, he made known through his very actions. She knew in this moment where his heart lay and it was in tandem with her own.

She answered him as roughly as he did, almost as if they were trying to dominate the other but also striking a balance so that neither would. When Farkas pulled back, he held Eriah steady as she tried to find her balance. "You're strong, Eriah, and I respect that. You always held your own in a fight and you pulled your own weight during the jobs we did together. However, now that I've come to a certain conclusion, I started having just one wish. Once, just once, I wish you'd lean on me and let me be strong for you. I don't know what your dragon soul's been putting in your head but depending on someone isn't weakness." he said. Eriah looked up at him, unsure whether to kiss him again or just run her hand along his jaw. She settled for leaning her head into his shoulder. "I can do that." she said, quietly. She felt Farkas's large hand start to run through her short brown hair, toying with one of the braids. "Can I count on you to tell me what this mark on your neck is about?" he asked, his hand coming to rest on her neck where the dragon script was. Eriah's heart twisted cruelly as she put some space between them. Farkas just let her have that space, knowing he was opening up a can of worms that she'd rather leave closed. "This is a reminder a past enemy of mine gave me. It reads 'You are mine' in the dragons' tongue. It doesn't mean what you think. It's...hard to really explain what he meant by it." Eriah said.

Farkas tilted his head in curiosity. "Perhaps...you can start at the beginning. Maybe it would help you." he suggested. Eriah sighed as she turned to face him again and sat down on the rock ledge of the Skyforge. She started to tell him everything about her mission in Solstheim, how she learned she wasn't the only Dragonborn, her unwilling servitude to Hermaeus Mora, her battle with Miraak, her absorbing his soul after his death, and how she started hearing his voice in her dreams. She explained she had gone to High Hrothgar to speak to Paathurnax about it, how her meditation brought her into the soul-plane where she met her then-dead enemy one last time, and how Miraak made her swear that if they met in Sovngarde, they would battle it out without Daedric interference. "So you see, this mark is probably just Miraak's way of telling me I'm his to defeat. Nothing more. After all, a dead man has no other claim on someone who is living." she finished. Farkas just hummed in understanding, having taken a seat next to her as she told her story. "That settles it." he said. Eriah looked at him confused as he pulled something from a pocket. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw it was an Amulet of Mara. Nord tradition said that if one was interested in marriage, they were to wear the amulet as a sign they were available. Her brown eyes shot up to meet his silver ones and he took her hand, placing the amulet in it.

"This is part of the reason it took me so long to get back. When you took the arrow for me, I knew then that I wanted you for my wife. Actually, I had known that deep down for a while. After going back to retrieve your Masque, I made a beeline for Riften. I was very confident that you would survive the poisoning and that you return to Jorrvaskr. After I forked over 200 septims for this, I went and finished the job we were meant to do together. The thought of you sustained me throughout my travels." Farkas explained, folding her fingers over it and pressing his lips to her hand. "I'm a simple man, Eriah. People take me seriously for the amount of damage I can do but when it comes to things of the mind, I'm not as bright as Vilkas. I never bother to hide that. There's also your feelings for Ulfric Stormcloak. Even though you said he doesn't look at you that way, I know that you still carry that longing in your heart. I honestly don't care because I choose to hope that perhaps you see me the way I see you." he said, looking into her eyes.

"I...don't know what to say." she said, her emotions warring within her and making her curse the fact he was a werewolf because he could feel it. "You don't have to give me an answer right away. I just want you to know how I feel and I'd rather be kept waiting for as long as it takes for you to come to a conclusion. I won't pressure you. If you decide you feel the same, you know what to do. If not, just say so and I will back off. I love you enough to let you go if you want me to." Farkas explained. Eriah didn't know how it was possible but she fell even harder in love with him than she had been already. Being his wife sounded...almost like a dream she didn't know she had. Still, her unresolved feelings for Ulfric presented a challenge that Farkas recognized as something she had to get worked out in her own heart before she could give him an honest answer. Her feelings for the jarl of Windhelm were deeply entrenched. She needed to do a lot of meditation on whether she'd rather hang onto her love for a man who saw her only as a valuable ally and fellow survivor of Helgen or choose her love for a man who made it known, in no uncertain terms, that he was dead serious about her. Eriah cherished Farkas all the more for his graciousness in letting her make those decisions in her own time and on her own terms. His giving her an Amulet of Mara was his way of stating his intentions to marry her if she wanted to be his wife. No one else had to know they were talking about it yet and no one would the wiser if she chose not to.

She looked up at Farkas and smiled a little. "Thank you for everything." she said, placing her hand on his face and giving him a kiss. They went slow this time, just savoring each other. When they pulled back, the man gave her a small, lopsided grin. "Let's act natural around the others. I'd rather not have them grill me about this since this is our business. They can have their fun at our expense if you choose to marry me." he said. "I can do that easily. They'll never know. Aela and Skjor will be easy to throw off but what about Vilkas? You and he seem to know precisely what goes on in each other's heads." Eriah said, pocketing the amulet. "Actually, Vilkas was the one who helped me realize how I felt. He actually started teasing me about you a while back but I made him stop by giving him a solid punch in the gut." Farkas replied. The way he said it in a slight deadpan made Eriah start laughing. She never understood siblings, much less twin siblings, because she was an only child. The idea that Farkas and Vilkas would beat up on each other from time to time without really meaning it was something she envied. "Sounds like if I decide to marry you, I'll be gaining a good brother-in-law." she said. "That ought to be a bonus for you, since you told me you have no brothers or sisters. I know Vilkas cares about you in his own way and he would be happy for us if things work out." Farkas said.

The two Companions got to their feet and walked down around Jorrvaskr. "I'll see you tomorrow, Eriah. I gave your housecarl, Lydia, your masque before coming to find you." Farkas said. "Thank you for finding it and bringing it back. I don't care much for Daedric Princes but that masque has been a boon from a Prince who wasn't so bad." she said. The two kissed one last time before parting ways. When Eriah got to Breezehome and let herself in, she leaned against the door with a wistful sigh. She pulled out the Amulet of Mara and looked at it in the light of the hearth's dying embers. "Take your time, Eriah. No need to rush." she reminded herself. She headed upstairs to her room, seeing that Lydia had already turned in for the night judging from her closed door, and opened up the chest. Inside was the Masque of Clavicus Vile. Eriah set the amulet in the chest beside it and and got ready for bed. She climbed under the skins and blew the candle out. She stilled her mind and eventually sleep came to her.


End file.
